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Thursday, January 31, 2013

The Body In The Library, at That Old House

The other morning, after The Colonel had left
for work, Gilda the maid woke me, frantic and fearful.
"Oh Ma'am, come quick," she barked in her distress.
"There's a body bag in the library!"

I hurried into my dressing gown and flew down
the front stairs, following Gilda's lead.
And there it was: a body bag.
  We did not dare to touch it, for fear of what we might discover.

"Who could be behind this?"  I asked my trembling housemaid.

She gave me a wise look.
"I hate to say this, Ma'am, but I think it is
your wastrel son, Dylan.  He's been hanging out with
one of them Bunnies, a girl who's no better
than she should be, if you know what I mean."

Sadly, I did know what Gilda meant.
I'd actually seen Dylan sleeping with this Bunny!

Would our Dylan commit a crime for love of this Bunny?
She was not the first to catch his eye.  
I'd seen Dylan sharing his bed with 
dozens of loose-living characters, some of whom had so little
backbone or moral fortitude that it was as if
their very stuffing had been removed.  
Gilda went on.
"And the other day, Ma'am, I saw Dylan acting
very suspicious in the Sunroom.  Sneaking around, he was,
and goin' places that he shouldn't oughta go."

Tough love.
I believe it is the only way to raise young ones,
and so I called the local cops who came
and took Dylan away for questioning.

So there our boy sits, in the local lockup.

What - or who? - is in the body bag?
What was Dylan's plan?
And what has happened to the soft and silky Bunny,
who has been missing since this incident began?

Did I do the right thing, handing our boy over to the police?

I had a moment's doubt, when I caught sight of
Gilda the Housemaid getting rather chummy with the Colonel:
And then there is that second body bag that I found
stuffed in the coat closet.  Empty.  And just my size, too.  

This may not have a happy ending.

"I'm innocent, I tell ya.  I'm INNOCENT!"
Yes, you are right.
Absolutely NOTHING is going on here at
That Old HouseThat makes me get silly.  -- Cass


  1. Giggle, giggle, giggle!

    Cass you are a blogging genius.

    I think Colonel Mustard did it in the conservatory with a teacup.

    It's possible.

  2. Okay I see a new career for you Cass...a ghost writer for the dog. Now I know he can't work the keys on the computer to post all his Facebook comments so I know he must be getting your help so get yourself an agent and you can start a whole series on the escapades of Gilda and the Bad Boy.
    Kids books are popular and are pure drivel....these could be a hit...

  3. Too about this insane wind in NJ?!!

  4. Dylan is INNOCENT - INNOCENT, I tell you! Just look at the face... too cute for his own good!

    Hope you're enjoy the blustery day!

  5. You are a hoot Cass! Cute story and photos. I think your dogs are so sweet that they wouldn't harm a flea.

  6. Your post titles always make me snap to attention! What a great, funny read!


  7. I was not getting chummy with the housemaid although I do like redheads.

  8. I'm still laughing. And I thought Downton Abbey was exciting.

  9. That housemaid hides the heart of a hussy behind that docile demeanor. If I were you I'd watch the Colonel. He looks smitten. It may already be too late!

  10. I enjoyed this! You should get silly more often.

    Have a good weekend!

    ~ Cassandra from Renaissance Women

  11. It was a dark and stormy night...........just ask Snoopy. He'll vouch for Dylan.

  12. I stumbled across your blog as I saw photos of your King Charlie's (I have a black and tan!). What a great story it made me laugh and one that I will tell my Coco tonight when I see her!! Take care. Chel

  13. Poor Dylan, he was just exploring Gilda

    Great story , kept me reading and reading , sounded the tune of Downtown abby

  14. I loved the story and kept reading to the end...loved your take on the bag...doggies are so darned cute ...

  15. I love your blog. Phyllis@around the house suggested I sign up for your blog and she is right - it's great!
    Love the doggies and I will be following your blogs. I just started so stop by.

  16. Hi Cass, How cute! Thanks for the entertainment! And for making me smile.

  17. I just recently found your blog and I am so glad I did! I needed a good chuckle today!! Great post.


  18. Cass~

    It's been forever since I've sat down to read blogs, let alone done any blogging myself........ has my life really become that busy? Apparently so. Well the time has come to change things up and the only place I needed to look for renewal was THAT OLD HOUSE! I knew there was a Dylan II but the story of Gilda had me laughing and scratching my head at the same time. So of course some delightful back reading got me on track. I love your story, your wit, your dogs, and as always, your old house. So glad I came over for a virtual visit..... I always am. I promise......especially myself, that I will not get lost. Looking forward to blogging and my favorite blog visits.

  19. Cass -
    I adore your dogs and the dialogue you assign each! I think there is a role waiting for Gilda on Downton Abbey. :)
    Get ready for more snow this Friday.
    Your Friend,

  20. So funny! Almost like a Saturday Night Live skit that I invent in my head all the time. Really enjoyed it, and can definitely relate as I have two dogs also -- one's incredibly sweet like your Gilda and the other is a toot (a Jack Russell).


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