The Slippery Slope -- Help!

The wedding looms.

What with tracking down wayward bridesmaids' dresses, panicking that the dress I ordered for myself is going to turn out to be the worst dress in the known universe, getting Dion to the vet for a cardiac ultrasound, stopping in at the florist for yet another pow-wow about the flowers, and a bunch of stuff I can't even remember at this point in the day . . .

. . . I never got around to taking pictures of our half-heartedly blooming perennials.

You didn't miss much. 

But the gardeners among you, please take a look at this:

Oooo... lovely.  That's our trash bin at lower left; must have taken this on a Thursday!

See those little fledgling evergreens marching obediently all in a row?

Our neighbor planted them along our property line, which was lovely of him.  But below that,

between the baby bushes and the stone wall, is a long strip of . . . dirt.  Sometimes, it's dirt and weeds.

Lots of weeds.

Weeding there is a major pain in the -- well, in the place you get pains in when something is annoying.

Yes, your neck.  You were thinking someplace else?

It's a fairly steep slope, and for more than half its length you have to

clamber up on the stone wall to reach the dirt.  And weeds.

Howard clambering.  I don't do clambering.  I watch and cheer him on.

 The whole stretch is at least 150 feet long, maybe more, as the property is 200 feet wide

but part of it is past the driveway, along the cul-de-sac, which is behind That Old House.

Howard, toiling up (down?) the driveway with a miniscule juniper to plant.

 The stone wall gets taller, until it's kind of tall to be doing a lot of clambering on.

 See that bamboo, below?  It was planted last spring, just about when these pictures were taken, and

I think I've managed to kill it.  Everyone says you can't kill bamboo.  Well guess what?  I can!

 So why am I torturing you with these pictures of the worst looking part of our yard, 

if you don't count the tangle of evergreens and vines along the front stone wall,

or the ditch where the rain water goes . . .?

I am hoping you have brilliant ideas for some sort of fast growing, deer repelling, easy maintenance,

sun tolerant plants that we can tuck in along this stretch of ugly ol' dirt before the wedding.

Did I mention fast growing?

Because as I said ...

The Wedding Looms!

And we want everything looking good before June 25th.

Even though I'll be wearing the worst dress in the known universe, at least

my house and garden will look good.  I hope.  

Howard giving up, realizing that it would take 9000 tiny plants to make any difference on this slope.

I would love to blanket the slope with something like Knockout Roses, but I don't want to give the local deer

any more free lunches.  Lavender would grow very well; it's a hot dry site, but lavender won't grow fast enough.

Maybe I should just pop in hundreds of annuals?  Oh yikes; who's going to break that to Howard?

That's a whole load of clambering!  -- Cass

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That Old House from the rear, not her best side.  The view from the bamboo!